I spent over two hours begging Howard Ratner to stop doing two things. The first was obsessively/hilariously saying "kay-gee" any chance he got. The second was anything he did at any time anywhere with almost anybody. It's a story we've seen before: an impulsive gambler, with an okay life situation, makes a huge play for themselves. They take risk after risk until the very end, when we find out how lucky they truly are. (Un)Fortunately, this time in Uncut Gems, we get to watch what feels like a life-and-death jack-in-the-box with a handle that won't stop winding. From A24 comes yet another hit, sharply shot with loads of contrast and powerfully uplifted by those on both sides of the camera.

Uncut Gems chronicles what almost feels like an average week for Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler). He runs a jewelry store in Manhattan, employing a diversity outreach partner named Demany (Lakeith Stanfield) who brings in rappers and ballplayers, like Kevin Garnett (Kevin Garnett – I know, right?). He buys, bids, bets, barters and begs to make his money, a portion of which is owed to Arno (Eric Bogosian) and collected by a duo of literal goons. Whether he’s at home with his wife who hates him, Dinah (Idina Menzel), or his apartment with his mistress Julia (Julia Fox), he never really has time to rest. But once an almighty and rare Ethiopian opal comes into his life, he spends every second working to get the opal auctioned off to save his ass. If we learn anything from this film, its that Howard shows us the definition of “being your own worst enemy”.

I loved this movie. Here’s three reasons to watch it and one reason to not watch it.

Here’s why you should watch Uncut Gems:

1. Adam Sandler? You Can’t Be Serious.

“You talkin’ ‘bout Adam Sandler? The guy from Billy Madison? From Click? Didn’t he do The Ridiculous 6? You know, that movie where Native American actors walked off the set after they heard the racially charged jokes they were letting fly that weren’t even funny? I didn’t see it either, but I heard about that. You talkin’ ‘bout Adam Sandler?” Yes, I’m talkin’ ‘bout that Adam Sandler.

In this film, Adam Sandler did what I never thought he would be able to do as long as I’m alive: Adam Sandler impressed me. To some, the best movies are those where you can’t tell an actor is acting. Like when Steve Carrell was actually getting waxed in 40-Year-Old Virgin or when Brad Pitt actually gets punched in Fight Club or when Leonardo DiCaprio actually cuts his hand in Django Unchained – it felt like that. Sandler’s performance didn’t feel like acting. Sandler took key parts of his (on-screen) personality (Jewish, obnoxious, loud, corny) and injected them into the addicted and committed character that the Safdie Brothers (the film’s writers and directors) masterfully present on-screen. Many (including me, immediately after I watched) felt he deserved an Oscar nomination. The reason for that was his performance here was easily as good as the other nominees if you ask yourself, “How good was (insert actor name) as (insert character)?” Truthfully, DiCaprio was a better washed-up actor, Adam Driver was a better divorcee father and (certainly) Phoenix was a better deranged “comedian”. But when you look outside of a vacuum and consider how stark of a contrast Sandler’s performance as Howard Ratner was from literally anything else he’s done, you can’t help but be impressed by his display and his growth as an actor. Unfortunately, his track record is a bit of a catch-22 and those Oscar voters have pretty good memories of his poorer performances. Nevertheless, if the majority of Sandler’s movies are like bad breath, his performance in Uncut Gems is a stick of spearmint gum: hard-hitting, crucial and it leaves us wanting even more. Adam Sandler was fantastic.

And, yes – I’m talkin’ ‘bout that Adam Sandler.

2. It’s F*****g Fun(ny)

Here, I’m going to list things that were fun(ny) to me (mild spoiler alert):

  1. Kevin Garnett does a crazy good job. He’s himself, but when you think about 95% of acting done by (former) professional athletes and how terrible it is, you have no choice but to seriously dig what KG does in “Uncut Gems”. What’s funnier is that we know KG is a character. Watch him say “Anything is possible!” or tell stories on podcasts/on television – Kevin Garnett and storytelling go hand-in-hand. Doc Rivers even said he drew up plays in the past that “rested on [KG’s] acting abilities.” The man has acting chops (at least as far as athletes go).
  2. The Weeknd makes this thing pop (sorry for the pun). From his piece of jewelry that helps kick the movie off to “the f***ing blacklights”, every time he comes up, it’s a joy.
  3. Neither of these guys were supposed to be in the movie. Amar’e Stoudemire or Joel Embiid were supposed to be KG. And A$AP Ferg or Troy Ave were supposed to be The Weeknd. Something tells me this wouldn’t have hit as hard with any of the four.
  4. If Howard’s addiction to trouble is the heart of this thing, then basketball is like the blood. We go from KG’s appearance to practice facilities to playoff games. If you like the sport, that’ll help keep you engaged.
  5. The movie feels like one big parody, but it’s supposed to be serious. From Howard (the Jewish jeweler) to his prima donna wife to his whiny, young mistress to Kevin Garnett’s cockiness to the Weeknd’s womanizing to the goons to the store employees and even to the secretary of Sotheby’s, everything is supposed to be serious, but you can’t help but laugh throughout.
  6. Bonus: Julia Fox got that thang back there. I mean, gahlee!
  7. Bonus: Uncut Gems is seventh on the list of movies that uses the F-word, clocking 408 utterances.

3. A24 Knows What the Hell They’re Doing

Moonlight was the first A24 film I ever saw, same as most people. Now, Moonlight is a very different movie, but that, Uncut Gems and almost everything that A24 drops can be described with six words: harrowingly alluring, masterfully directed and painstakingly memorable.  A24, in my opinion, is the best “up-and-coming” production company right now. Since their inception in 2012, they’ve reeled in 25 Academy Award nominations and won a few as well. What makes A24’s films work is that they lean into artistic freedoms. A24 lets people try things. A24 allows room for failure, as well as breakthroughs, in a dynamic way that I don’t see with many other production companies. If you want to know what people think of A24, check out this article of quotes, but to put it plain: A24 “has balls”. They “don’t need to know what it’s about – they just need to know how it feels.” Lastly, A24 “has the unique ability to find and champion authentic narratives that cut to the core in a raw and honest way.” If A24 made it, I highly suggest you watch it.

Here’s why you shouldn’t watch Uncut Gems:

1. One Long Anxiety Attack

I can’t imagine if Howard Ratner was Black. If he was, he’d have grown up hearing one phrase: “Boy, you workin’ my gotdamn nerves.” That’s literally all Howard Ratner did for over two hours: stressed me out. Addiction is messy. But, what Howard Ratner has is so bad that I started feeling fractions of what he felt in the film. I told you – for two hours, I begged Howard Ratner to stop everything he was doing. But, he wouldn’t. So, for two straight hours, I sat next to Howard Ratner in the front row of a roller coaster that did one thing: went straight down. I won’t tell you how the ride ends, but I will tell you to enjoy it (if you dare).

I highly recommend seeing Uncut Gems. Some won't. Either way, I Scene That.

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