Christmas 2019. I sat with my dad, the movie mogul himself, and watched The Irishman. It took us 3 days to finish because, frankly, the movie is long as hell (3h28m). But between minute one and minute 208, I went in and out of the movie with a familial mindframe. Admittedly, the holidays can feel routine, with the same people and rituals every time we come into town. But it's that same routine that never fails to leave us feeling whole. No matter how many times we hear the same old stories, we have mom's cooking or we get asked to take out the trash, we do it in stride for the family. We do it out of love. And we do it reverently. The Irishman, through exhaustive storytelling, undeniable bravura and timeless execution, reminds us that Scorsese always takes care of us cinematically. And, for that, we must always pay our respects.
In the interest of the film's length, I'll try to be brief: In this saga, we follow the life and times of Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro), a regular-degular meat truck driver. Through (mis)fortune, he meets Russell Bufalino (Joe Pesci) and is adopted into the Pennsylvania mob. As Frank rises in the organization as a "house painter", he eventually becomes the go-to guy for Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino), leader of the Teamster organization with ties to organized crime. In a retrospective fashion, Frank shows us the highs, lows and everything in between during his time as a member of his dear, crime-riddled family. There are a number of twists and turns, but most importantly, we also get some pleasant appearances from Ray Romano, Harvey Keitel, Kathrine Narducci, Bobby Cannavale, and Jesse Plemons (who people hilariously call "Meth Damon").
Point blank: I liked this movie a lot. Here’s three reasons to watch it and one reason to not watch it.
Here's why you should watch The Irishman:
1. Pay Your Respects
For many, the phrase is inherently tied to death. However, at its core and in its origin, it is more closely tied to "gestures of honor or politeness" (according to the Oxford English Dictionary). Even so (and I hate to be dark), the fact of the matter remains: many of our greats in film and television are getting old. We will, inevitably, lose them in the coming decades. No matter when God calls them home, we will reflect on the noteworthy and unforgettable contributions they have given us. And, when I say greats, I'm referring to the men who make this movie as great as it is: De Niro, Pacino, Pesci and Scorsese. I'll spare you the lecture on each of these mens' careers, but what makes The Irishman a must-watch, at its very foundation, is the fact that not one, but all four of these names are front and center in this film. If you call yourself a film fanatic, I don't care if it takes you three weeks, you better find time to sit down and give this movie one solid viewing solely out of respect for these four individuals and all that they have done for our entertainment.
Bonus: This amazingly impressive movie-making is taken to the next level with the CGI-effects that allow the lead characters to drop 30 years from their faces.
2. (A Test of) Maturity
I'm attention-challenged. And I'll say about this movie what I said about Malcolm X and The Green Mile: "HOW long?!" I can lock in for a solid two to two-and-a-half hours because that's what I'm conditioned to do: movies, basketball games, dates, etc. We live in a two-hour world. So, when a movie cracking three hours comes my way, I balk regardless of how good I hear it is. But, eventually, I watch. I watch not because it's "good" or because someone I like is in it. I watch because being able to sit in one spot for hours (without dancing like there's ants in your pants) is a bulletproof way to demonstrate your own maturity. Don't believe me? Ask your mother.
In all seriousness, this movie is lengthy. Not only is it lengthy, it can quite fairly be decribed as droll, somber, serious, melancholy and librarian-ly tense. The movie doesn't make its bacon on flashes, explosions and vibrant colors. Its value is derived from thematic expositions, meticulous craftsmanship and the deliberate slow burn of a narrative that's ignited scene after scene by...
3. The Art of Conversation
I'm just gonna name them: Schindler's List, Hannibal, Gangs of New York, All the King's Men, American Gangster, Moneyball, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Irishman. All of these movies have two things in common: One, each of them owes much of their core intensity to the dialogue, the words delivered by the actors that strike us to our core (insert 7-8 examples). Two: Steven Zaillian, one of my favorite screenwriters, wrote all of their screenplays. He is a master of detail and has found a way to make us appreciate the art of intricacy when it comes to making words matter in films. The Irishman is no exception.
Here’s why you shouldn’t watch The Irishman:
1. "Long and Slow" - Average Viewer
There's no way around it, this film is very, very long. It's that simple. On top of that, I'm a guy who can appreciate subtleties and slow beats in films, but I had to hop on Twitter almost 10, 20 times while I was watching this across a three-day marathon because I genuinely needed some sort of stimulation that wasn't my dad chortling at some reference I didn't understand at first. This movie definitely goes over like a classroom lecture with a boring professor at some points, but there's usually beauty in the struggle, I suppose.
I recommend seeing The Irishman. Some won't. Either way, I Scene That.
